Everytime I enter my office lift, I pray for a couple of things.
1. The lift should not stop in the middle of nowhere
2. It should not go on a free-fall. With just a couple of months from marriage, I dont want anything to go wrong. One wrong thing every two months should suffice. Nothing more.
Now I have added one more to this prayer list
3. I should not kill or get killed in a lift by co-passengers!
There are many lift gangs in our office. One of them thinks its their duty to ensure that the roof of the lift does not fall on us and its their job to hold it up. Noble! If only our corporate services department sponsers them free deo.Sometimes I wonder why should I not take a pollution mask inside the lift.
There is another gult gang. If they being gult is not a reason enough to roll into a laughter, they start talking absoultely incomprehensible stuff like "Ikkada yeralagada yamaga kavali and end it with a perfectly sane sound in gult-dom...."brrrrrrttt". If you dont know what this sound is, lemme tell you, even I dont know. But it comes from the mouth and not from the other obvious place. That sends me into a laughing vortex that never seems to leave me. I feel bad, but I laugh my guts out in front, back and side of them. I pray one of them doesnt turn out to be a naxalite.
Another set of creatures enter the lift like rapid action force that is there to defuse a hydrogen bomb. They never seem to mind even if they were to be spat at. I never seem to see the invisible "Balaji" or the laddu at the end of the lift. But that perhaps is the only possible motive for such devotion to elbow out the rest of the people to reach the back of the lift. I dont know why they dont get killed by a falling fan in their own living rooms!
There is another set of patients with compulsive tag-starring syndrome. I purposefully turn my id tag towards my chest or (flat) tummy just to avoid them starring at my id card and calculating my seniority in the organization. The junior you are the fiercer the stare would be and stronger their urge to bully you to one of the nooks of the lift.
There is yet another completely nervous crowd that gets out of the lift in every damned floor even if they have to get at the last stop. In the process they dont just confuse you, but also confuse the damned lift even!!
I hope I dont indulge in a skirmish and kill one of the ultra-crazy lift-goers or get killed in the process!!
