Random Haha

Yesterday Praveen , our tech lead was interviewing a girl. He was asking her to define "classes" (some tech shit).

She said its a "bluefilm" instead of "blueprint". (Here imagine the yahoo roll and laugh smiley.Thats how I laughed hearing this)

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BigMan saw squirrel girl's butt cleavage in the office and smiled. Chinki girl saw that and is blackmailing him for a chocolate...Long live Indian culture!

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BigMan's cousin has come from Milan... Oops..he is Milan and he has come from London to India for the first time for internship.

Sad..romba paavam. He never knew he is coming all the way from London to collect leads from the net (100 a day) for my sales team. What a waste of time, Milan...

Moreover he is going through a few dilemmas

• Are the mosquitos in BigMan's room potent enough to kill him? Should he just ignore them or spray on each tiny one of them?
• Should he spread the whole tamilnadu bathroom with napkin and then squat to crap?
• Should he squat or just rely on gravity and stand in the loo?
• Is a beggar child rude if he does not say thank you when this guy gives him a nestle liquid chocolate?
• How to eat dosa if the sangeetha hotel guys just refuse fork and knife?

If not anything else, he would know that a world exists without mineral water, napkin rolls, glazed floors and is alive and rocking !!

Microphone

A Sardarni in New York went to a worldwide message centre to send a message to her mother in India. The phirangi guy told her it would cost $100 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money! But I would do anything to get a message to my mother in Punjab-India!" The man arched an eyebrow and asked: "Anything?""Yes, anything!" promises the sardarni. With that, the man said, "Follow me", walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door."She did. He then said, "Get on your knees." She did. Then he said, "Unzip me." She did. He said, "Go ahead...take it out." She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well...go ahead damn it!" The Sardarni slowly brought her lips closer, and screamed loudly, "Hello...Mummyjee?"

Prof.Cheatappan's experiential learning lessons

I met Prof. Cheatappan finally. It was a chance encounter.

Like all skilled men he humbled me with his ability to weave an engaging and moving story.

For the "still-confused", am referring to an As*hole of age 50+ i neat shirts and pants who bumped into me on saturday night.

He said he wants to know where oriental bank's ATM is. Its very rare for you and me to know if such a bank exists and I will jump a towel (Thunddu thaandudhal) and say you wont know where its ATMs are.

So Prof. Cheatappan said he wants to go to an ATM or wants money immediately. He had just lost his purse which her very old mom took with her when her bus just moved. He said that he had just 20 bucks and has to go to vellore.

Trust me - He turned his head sideways and said "Who can I ask? I feel ashamed to say I dont have money. I am a professor in vellore college"

That was enough to tickle my senti cells and was into an imaginery scene where i substituted my dad for him.

I readily gave him hundred bucks and gave my address and phone number.

Cheatappan neither called not has he sent money.

Son of a bitch !

I got cheated in money related matter for the first time in my life and asshole used much revered role of a Professor and his old age to exploit me.

My (un)official role

At office am the "Manager - Marketing and Pre-Sales" (It used to be Head of Marketing and Pre-Sales)..I got a promotion letter which "promoted" me from Head of Marketing to Manager Marketing.

Crap by any name is....?

Yeah right answer !!

Ok now my

(Ir)Responsibilites:
Identifying new lines of businesses
Managing the internal PR
Managing external marcom.
Mentoring pre-sales dudes
Managing high value estimates
Follow up with eLearning customers
Do demos that are of importance

My Schedule for a day:

Reach office at 11.30 AM or 12 Noon (depends on how boring or how entertaining TV channels are at the 11 AM slot)

11.30 AM - Start my computer
11.40 AM - Mails download (Most of them are dilbert or some group forwards related to KM a.k.a intellectual masturbation)
11.45 AM - Walk to the other end of the office to fetch water
Till 12.10 - Talk with Bhargavi, Shankar and gang (Typical high energy high nakkals folks)
12.30 - View the most important mail for the day
Till 1.00 PM - Send out some mails and official crap to announce that I have arrived and am working my butt off
1.05 PM - Mom calls - talks for 5 mins
1.10 PM - Go to Sangeeta restaurant for lunch
1 45 PM - Back to office
Till 2.00 PM - Make fun of the day's bakra or be a bakra for some random reason..giggle..laugh and while away time

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Post Lunch Session

2.00 PM to 3.00 PM - Reply for more mails, search for work and try to do them
3.00 Pm to 3.30 PM - Tea Break
3.30 PM - 3.45 PM - Find the post-lunch bakra and spend time on making fun
3.45 PM to 5 PM - Meet my team and review stuff, clean up the shit thats pending for me
5 to 5 30 PM - Check my investment portfolio, check personal mails and go upstairs to sign attendance
5.30 - 6.oo PM - Snack break
6.00 - 7.00 PM _ frantically prepare for some important call that night
7.00 PM - 8 PM - Important calls or generally chatting with the fun gang
8.00 PM tp 9 PM - Dinner break
9 PM - 10 PM - Calls calls and calls
10 PM - view arbitrary stuff - news, jokes, moview reviews etc
10 30 PM to 11 30 PM - Calls in any or do some random shit
12 00 Midnight - Sleep

Varam tharum Vekkaaliyamman

Ayyo or Ayyago !!!

No one is reading my blog or No one is leaving any comment

Here is a ponzi scheme i am announcing. Any one who comments for my blogs will get a few varams from vekkaaliyamman.

If you are trying for master - you will get in MIT

If you are trying to become father - you will get twins

If you are planning to switch jobs - you will get in Microsoft, Redmond - USA

If you are planning to watch a movie - you will get a hero chance in Jeeva's next movie

If you walk in marina - you will be chased by paparrazis

If you go to pizza hut - you will be served sizzlers and paid money to eat and pose for them

If you like a girl - she will shamelessly ask you if you can lay her and you would get a chance to do a tam hero by saying "no, culture yeh woh"

Puleees comment for my post da/di..

I love u da chellam..

I Hate

For some reason you like my blog...so you like some part (not the physical way) of me. There are somethings I hate.I would list down what I hate.Lets check if we have same dislikes.

If you are a girl, unmarried, 20+,iyer, non (even social) drinking/smoking (includes gudan garam) and smart-ass...and you dislike all that i dislike, you have every reason to call me up for a (mango) drink.

The comedian i hate the most- S.S.Chandran

The Politician i.h.t.m - Ramadoss

The smell - Exnora Garbage Lorries

The social activist - Revathy

The drink - soyamilk

The sect - Programmers (who cannot think)

The cameraman - P.C.Sreeram (I hate his disposition not his works)

The Minister - Murli Manohar Joshi

The compere - SCV chics

The channel - Raj Digital

The serial - Metti oli

The car - Santro

The actor - Murali

The place - Office (Monday Mornings and Friday Evenings)

The dress - Lungi

Payyans

Wondering how many different ways you can say "Pasanga"

(Pasanga means a group of boys...What the heck...if you dont know tam, this blog is not for you anyways)

Payyanga - Parents may say this way and it may denote both boy and girl kids they have

Payyanga - Parents again - Denotes Boys...The rendu-payyanga-oru-ponnu way of saying

Payavullai - Actually its Paya Pullai - Again Boy & Girl - Rustic Rural way of saying. Almost always prefixed with padukali, sirukki (better left unexplained)

Payaluva - I guess tirunelveli way if saying "pasanga"

Payyangal - No no its not payyan and gal..its payyangal - Mumbaiya brahmin way

Pashanga - The "sha"ving tamil is a revolution of sorts primarily powered by doyens like "Pepsi" Uma, Actor lakshmi etc. I would call them Neo-Brahmins who are not ejactly "aacharam" types, but use brahminical identity to differentiate their screen presence. They call sarath kumar as Sharath Kumar and sometimes even say samathu as "sha"mathu

Payakka or Payyakal - Nagercoil way of saying "pasanga"