Elimination Round - Ideal Girl - Part 1

Preethi today asked me for my idea of an ideal match (The marriage type). Thinking of it, more than what kind of a girl I may like, there are many creatures I just would kill with a "HIT SPRAY" if I ever had the license. :)

First category is what I call as the neo-ramba girls. You can see them in college, office everywhere. No one except the "oh-its-been-a-long-time-since-I-saw-a-girl" guys go near them. This species oozes the oomph with extra large dangling ear rings, Revlon shades, cheap saravana stores jeans with embroidery on it and those really loud (color) and extremely noisy tuk tuk heel shoes. Just as you are stuck for words looking at their profoundly repulsive demeanour they reciprocate with "Chee, enna yen pa apdi pakre...enaku oru maariya vardhu" look. WTF?

The second category is "lovelace forever". They are very nice people. They are always there for you, feeling extra large for you. Hayoyo enada thalai le thoosi and wipes it off for you. SMS'es you with "Life is like a river. You are a goldfish. I am a dolphin" kinda message and expects you to reply with a "Sucha sweet girl you are" sms. She knows your ringtone, she remembers its time for you to pay the electricity bills, she even sms'es you to check the road on both sides before you cross.Before you realize, she knows everything about you. You can just walk straight and ask her, how many more deep breaths should I take to meet my average oxygen intake for every friday and she will have an answer. You never know. She perhaps knows. They call you by every name including babli, chintu, tintin, ashu, asho or sweetypie..that you come back home and shout in front of the mirror "ashwin" "ashwin" "ashwin" a hundred times, to feel how nice and relieved it sounds. Its all bubbly-giggly but they just dont get the point that one doesnt need to salvage the entire time, every ounce of energy and self-respect to "take care" of a guy. They are nice, lovely but carry zero magnetism

The third is ultra-pack. For these chics everything is larger than life. They exchange "Hi" with a rub of cheek and a kiss in the air, even if its just our good old besi beach, they are meeting in. They know how to wear a 9 yard saree with glass work and still manage to reveal everything. I can watch Antony Bourdain of "No reservations" eat live octopus. But I will puke if I sit with these chics for 10 minutes. They are adventurous in every sense of the word. They can tell between tasmac and a cognac which is 18th century brewed. They talk hard rock and metal.They drive custom made jeeps with 10 absolutely drunk guys in it whom she would have just met through yet another common friend whom she met the last week for the first time. (This is no exaggeration. I sadly happened to be with such a gang for precious half n hour of my 31 dec 2006)

The fourth category is Kartavya girls. They all look the same. There is only one way you can take them to orgasm - by taking them through a hypnotism spell and walk them through redmont seattle Microsoft office and show that they work there as a geek with the Vista OS in 2007. They would like "Java User Group - Code Marathon" t-shirt to Swarowski crystals. They shut down their eyes to sleep, reboot to wake up, fragement the bread for breakfast, disk cleanup their scooties, go to office in run time, take command(s) prompt-ly. Huff...enough said..

For all these complications, there is one category of girls, I just fall for. It takes one full post to write about them. Thats on Part II..