Saturday, February 17, 2007

Review - Pachai Kili Muthu Charam

Its a bold movie, yet again from Gautham Menon.
The story line is not very complicated. A middle-aged man, Venkatesh (Played by Sarath) falls into an extra-marital affair with Geetha (Jyothika) and before he realizes he is stuck to the cobweb of conmen, who then blackmail him for money. The rest of the movie is about how Sarath saves his marriage with his loveable wife (played by Andrea) and then hits back to take all the money he lost to the conmen!
Its very refreshing to see Sarath Kumar being introduced as just "Sarath Kumar" and not "Supreme Star". He plays a medical rep who is content with his sales job and passes every chance of promotion to stay in the city with his wife and kid. Andrea plays Sarath's wife. Inspite of her not-so-south looks, she scores well in emotions and carries the role of a disappointed lover/wife with remarkable depth. I wish she gets more such roles in tamil cinema.
The story begins slow with first half an hour devoted to introduce Venkatesh, Kalyani and their son, who has juvenile diabetics. Sarath wields emotions like we have never seen. He also looks polished and bright. There is ample room for the first time to display love, lust, affection, disappointment, sorrow, contentment and fear - all in one movie. Sarath has brought in each of these emotions to their full and nowhere is it exaggerated.
The family saves money for their ailing kid and even decides to forego the idea of having another kid, just to devote their live for this kid. Its in this meloncholy-meets-reality situation, Venkatesh gets to know Geetha. Her's is another story of unsuccessful marriage life. Venky and Geetha turn friends. Geetha then takes fast moves to bring Venky into a love-lust
quagmire.
Gautham's dilemma is whether to become a Quintin Tarrentino or to be his own.The edginess and riveting narration which he followed in his earlier movies were very Quintin-like. Each scene led to the other and we did not have a minute to take a breath.But PKMC needed a full first-half to develop two micro-stories, one of Venkatesh & Family and the one of Venkatesh & Geetha. Gautham could have done well by limiting Venkat-Geetha relationship phase to the minimum and used the rest of the time to build a racy fightback.
Its this indecisiveness till the first half, that brings the movie flat, for an average movie goer. Gautham tries to break traditions one too many at the same time. First its the story line which is about extra-marital affairs. Second its Sarath doing a subdued hero. Third its Jyothika with her earthern looks and unfamiliar voice dubbing and fourth being a very slow narration much against what you would expect his movies to have.
The movie takes off in a typical Gautham menon fashion, when Lawrence (Milind Soman) enters the story and the blackmail trail begins. You are waiting to see how Venkatesh handles the moral fight and when Venkatesh finds Geetha to be a part of Lawrence's con-gang, you would come to the edge of the seat.
But the feast that we saw in Anbuchelvan-Pandiya fightback is missing here. Firstly there is no fightback from Sarath for most parts and when he does its already the end of the movie. Lawrence & Geetha (we thought) die in a gun-fight with Venkatesh, who not very mysteriously has to rely on Sarath Kumar, the action hero to fight 10 men wielding iron rods. We too had to come to terms that after all its not Venkatesh, its Sarath Kumar.
With meloncholy-lust-deceit and chase taking three-fouth of the movie, Gautham would have felt, its too little a feast for his audience and as I thought I the movie was over, Jyothika springs back even after we thought she's shot dead, to lead another excruciatingly boring fight, where she indeed dies this time. It was neither racy nor any bit climactic. While Jo is all too willing to do a negative role in the end of her career's first innings, she could have taken care about her looks, dubbing and presentation. The life you associate with Jo, is missing.
My Verdict: You must watch it as early as you can. It may not be out there for long!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Elimination Round - Ideal Girl - Part 1

Preethi today asked me for my idea of an ideal match (The marriage type). Thinking of it, more than what kind of a girl I may like, there are many creatures I just would kill with a "HIT SPRAY" if I ever had the license. :)

First category is what I call as the neo-ramba girls. You can see them in college, office everywhere. No one except the "oh-its-been-a-long-time-since-I-saw-a-girl" guys go near them. This species oozes the oomph with extra large dangling ear rings, Revlon shades, cheap saravana stores jeans with embroidery on it and those really loud (color) and extremely noisy tuk tuk heel shoes. Just as you are stuck for words looking at their profoundly repulsive demeanour they reciprocate with "Chee, enna yen pa apdi pakre...enaku oru maariya vardhu" look. WTF?

The second category is "lovelace forever". They are very nice people. They are always there for you, feeling extra large for you. Hayoyo enada thalai le thoosi and wipes it off for you. SMS'es you with "Life is like a river. You are a goldfish. I am a dolphin" kinda message and expects you to reply with a "Sucha sweet girl you are" sms. She knows your ringtone, she remembers its time for you to pay the electricity bills, she even sms'es you to check the road on both sides before you cross.Before you realize, she knows everything about you. You can just walk straight and ask her, how many more deep breaths should I take to meet my average oxygen intake for every friday and she will have an answer. You never know. She perhaps knows. They call you by every name including babli, chintu, tintin, ashu, asho or sweetypie..that you come back home and shout in front of the mirror "ashwin" "ashwin" "ashwin" a hundred times, to feel how nice and relieved it sounds. Its all bubbly-giggly but they just dont get the point that one doesnt need to salvage the entire time, every ounce of energy and self-respect to "take care" of a guy. They are nice, lovely but carry zero magnetism

The third is ultra-pack. For these chics everything is larger than life. They exchange "Hi" with a rub of cheek and a kiss in the air, even if its just our good old besi beach, they are meeting in. They know how to wear a 9 yard saree with glass work and still manage to reveal everything. I can watch Antony Bourdain of "No reservations" eat live octopus. But I will puke if I sit with these chics for 10 minutes. They are adventurous in every sense of the word. They can tell between tasmac and a cognac which is 18th century brewed. They talk hard rock and metal.They drive custom made jeeps with 10 absolutely drunk guys in it whom she would have just met through yet another common friend whom she met the last week for the first time. (This is no exaggeration. I sadly happened to be with such a gang for precious half n hour of my 31 dec 2006)

The fourth category is Kartavya girls. They all look the same. There is only one way you can take them to orgasm - by taking them through a hypnotism spell and walk them through redmont seattle Microsoft office and show that they work there as a geek with the Vista OS in 2007. They would like "Java User Group - Code Marathon" t-shirt to Swarowski crystals. They shut down their eyes to sleep, reboot to wake up, fragement the bread for breakfast, disk cleanup their scooties, go to office in run time, take command(s) prompt-ly. Huff...enough said..
For all these complications, there is one category of girls, I just fall for. It takes one full post to write about them. Thats on Part II..

Friday, February 02, 2007

Slurrpy Iyers

I was fortunate to have been bred , as a child, in a street where eating was just more than a daily chore. The oldies, I remember, have arranged for massive mass lunches for every conceivable amavasai or pournami.
Coming from such a tradition, Sarvana Bhavan's rationed thayir sadam feels like an insult to the Slurrpy Iyer in me. Here is an ode to the abundance, indulgence and sheer slurrp that I miss!
Iyers of the previous generation, I have known, have squared off their fortunes just by drinking paal payasam and moor kozhambu. Even today my granny cannot make food for less than five people, even if its only she who eats!
A family getto at Iyer homes is a treat not just for our taste buds, but also to our sight. Being a kid I was always the messenger when a devesam or punyajanam happened at our home. I will run the entire street and "invite" the fellow iyer-bagasuraa's for the lunch.
I am not sure why they call it "Thalai vazha elai" . At my age of 10, I could easily strech and sleep on that leaf. Its in this leaf they serve food. Anxiety always took over me when the "tarrap" "tarrap" "krrr" sound of cleaning the leaf starts. What amazed me was not even one of those mamas would tear the leaf with that WWF style washing and nor would they even lift their butt to reach to the contours of the leaf.This is one art, I envy and never could master even to this date.
You must also note that the amount of intake is inversely proportional to the grip of the veshti.The tight veshti relaxes as they progress from sambhar to rasam to payasam to thayir sadam and when they finish the penance (??) the veshti just slips down in sheer load that it cannot bear!
Now back to the basics.
The iyer saapadu inherently breeds socialism. Everyone's given a level playing (?!) ground.Even as you get served, you will wait for the rest of all to get served too and just as players do their team chant, the Iyers do their mantra chants..a la...ready joot 1 2 3
It all starts with a modesty personified drops of payasam whose sweet taste would perhaps be a spoilsport to the sambhar rice that comes next in the order. But Iyers being no ordinary men, use the plain rice to wipe the residual payasam clean and bingo, the banana leaf is ready for its next victim!
There is of course an order in which food is served. Paruppu is always served before food. Salt takes the left extreme, while kootu and poduthuval take the centre stage. If there is Bhoondi it takes a strategically precarious place between uppu and kootu. On the top right, comes exceedingly syruppy and intolerably sweet "pineapple jaam", which rubs often with an equally crappy and sour "thayir pachidi" . The bottom half is reserved for rice and the mixes and payasam.
The best eater is one who has the most rice grains on the inner palm.The more you squeeze and make the food eject out of your fingers, the more you are recognized as a veteran. There is also a tradition to reserve a seat for a person who is anointed as the one through which the departed soul, relishes the lunch and he gets a dhonnai which is yet another improvisation. Its a small banana leaf rolled into into a pentogonal shaped bowl with no stiches what so ever...which is then filled with ....what else... pal payasam.
I learnt about aerobics only when a few years back. But it's always been a familiar exercise having watched our grand dads skillfully doing a half U turn with rasam with the side of the palm turned into a skilled wiper taking along all thakkali and rasam in one massive gravity defying swirl taking off perpendicularly like a sukhoi and then go way up to a rolling tongue and scale back the same way in a split second, back to take over the "now retracing wave" of rasam. Its difficult to put this art in words. But I always wonder, with such relex and navigation skills why did no michael schumakers come out of our community!
Another notable aspect about rasam is how you slirp. An "ussswwwpp" should always follow with another "ussswwwp" within next 40 seconds. If it does not, the rhytm will be lost between sound, aerobics and wiping. There is so much in eating a rasam sadham.
Between every transition from one rice to other, you are served with a liberal dose of pal payasam...and the person who serves invaribaly pours one more scoop...saying "mamaa sandhehathuku" (meaning...just in case you are in two minds and feel for not having another scoop, later)
Talk about spoils !!
Finally they serve you with banana which should technically be ejected out of lack of space, but where there is will, there is intenstine and colon.
After all this, the maamas' then move out to the table kept ready with skillfully arranged vetthalai,sunambu and paaku and here starts "indha kichchambi irukanae...verum jambbam"...Another discussion, another day passes by without realizing what massive fete they have orchestrated in that 2" * 1 " banana leaf!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007



This was taken at 8 30 AM on a Sunday morning. I like this blue tint at the end of the road! Somehow Sundays have their own special color, right?
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The School KFI Road - Besant Nagar



Can you try writing a suitable quote for this?
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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Rather a long egotrip

1. Were you named after anyone?
No, I was not in queue

2. Do you believe in stars?
Never! I always managed to be a back bencher

3. When did you last cry?
When i made onion sambhar

4. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. Its "Trebuchet 10 font with 1.5 line spacing"

5. What is your favourite meat?
Not exactly favorite. But I like when Antony Bourdain in "No Reservations" eats fried grasshoppers tearing one head at a time!

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
A 1960's adult movie which is hopelessly boring with some "banned" scenes like english women coming in sleeveless (not topless!)

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
Oh will be head over heels!

8.Are you a daredevil?
Yeah, i just missed being a bandit

9. How do you release anger?
Just the way you pee...Concentrate, Control till you can, Clear, Clean and Forget till it happens again

10. Where is your second home?
You mean chinna veedu?

11. Do you trust others easily?
Ena romba nallavannu oru varthai solitangale nu vadivelu mari aprom azharthuka?

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
No I was into better things like trying to defy gravity, attempting to dig a hole to reach antarctica and so on..Appove naa andha mari...

13.What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
They were all useful..I wasnt

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Ask my victims!

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Will you join me?

16.What do you look for in a gal?
Intelligence and quickwit. Clarity and urban-smarts. Above all no mush, good dresses and a liberal usage of deo

17. Would you bungee jump?
Um..as long as it does not break my family's genetic realy race!

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
No I sleep with shoes (on my legs...not like what you read out of it)

19.what's your favourite ice cream?
Anything as long as its from a shared bowl on a quaint evening

20. What are your favourite colours?
Orange, Red, Yellow, Pink

21. What are your least favourite things?
Cleaning my bike n car. Wasting time with people just because its politically uncorrect to say them "F"

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
I am snobbish...but not in this case...There were a few, there are a few..But I am not in the game..Have taken a drinks break..


23. Who do you miss most right now?
Action. High. Adrenalin. Fever. Ecstacy. Groove. Pressure.

24. What are you listening to right now?
Chennai auto's drr-rrr-rrr-rrr

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Orange

26. What is the weather like right now?
Sub zero plus a couple of tens (Chennai...Duh)

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
A Drug Lord

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Do they present themselves well..Its getting too technical out here..

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
As I am in a drinks break, I had to pull this out myself. If you ask me if i like myself...oh i am madly in love..

30. How are you today?
A wholesome tambram meal and cricket...actually worried about horizontal prosperity slowly trying to hijack my 32 waist.

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
Banana milkshake and Jilljill Jigarthanda


33. Natural hair colour?
Whose hair? Mine? Black and a few hidden whites


34. Eye colour?
Pink..Duh..am an Indian

35. Wear contacts?
No. My contacts dont like being carried like uppu mootai

36. Siblings?
Is it a game like couplings, jalabulajangs?

37. Favourite month?
December and whenever salary hike happens


38.Favourite food?
Potato curry


39. Favourite day of the year?
Next question please...its getting to be a tad bit longer a list than i imagined


40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
No. I make sure they certainly want to and then ask...These days I beg to be not asked out...

41. Scary movies or happy endings?
Hypocracy...I have more choices.


42. Summer or winter?
I am not this complicated and choosy...Was this list prepared by a forward queen?


43. Holi or Diwali? Ada pongappa


44. Do you like your name?
No may be i would have prefered rettavaal rengudu


45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Fortune (osi le kedacha)...ilena anada vikatan, BW etc

46. What's on your mouse pad?
Balls! (I have two mice and each one has a roller ball, you pervert!)

47. What did you watch on TV last night?
Victoria's secret. I was confused...They dint hide anything...then where is the secret (Ulta perk mattera iruke idhu)

48. Favourite Smell?
Petrol and Ganja

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
No (apart from the ones that cannot be counted as break ups)

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
This is called clairvoyance...You got it...this is a madass list...ufff...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Bin Ladies

First, the conclusion: Chics should learn not just table manners, but also after-dinner manners!

Lets say Srinath and Rekha plan to go out for dinner...

SMS from Rekha: What you doing?

Srinath: Scratching my head (But you cant say the truth and hence) Just thinking of you!

Rekha: Dont lie. Achaa Suun..Lets go for dinner na?

Srinath: No I feel tired and moreover I am better off watching the weather report chic than come with you (Its rude to say and hence)...yeah sure, but where do we meet?

Rekha: Am not feeling well yaar. Am running cold (yuck) and bloody sneezing from morning (how disgusting to say this). Can you come and pick me up from home?

Srinath: No, am not your driver or doctor. If you are really sick why dont you dial 1066 for an ambulance (Its not kind of us to say this and hence) oops did you see the doctor? Did you take medicines?

Rekha: No, its ok (and then why the hell rekha was whining a seconds ago?).

Srinath: Ok be at home. I will pick you up (after stuffing my wallet to feed your bottomless tummy)

Rekha: No No...Gar pe aunty hai (Aunty who cleans her house). I will come to the street end (You mean after locking the aunt in the house?) (Come on, if you dont trust us, why the ...do you call me all the way there for picking you up?)

Srinath arrives, wading through traffic, autorickshaw threats and signals..

Rekha: So nice of you to have come. You look tired. You should have told me na?(Like what...Bitch I know you are hungry and no one is there to feed you today and neither am i in a mood to fund you?)

As Rekha takes him through the minutest details of her flu and cold with punctating sneezes, they reach Khana Kazana...

Srinath tries to make her take the lead. But Rekha is stubbonly rooted to the platform. Srinath is familiar with this and has no choice but to ask her what she wants..

Dho aloo paratha, ek subzi aur curd (whatever happened to the flu)

Srinath puts up with the boring story of rekha univ admits and pathetic GMAT score for 28th time. He knows beyond doubt that she is dumb, the universities also know it and Rekha still doesnt!

Now comes the moment of truth!

The bill has arrived! 120 bucks (90 on rekha and 30 on srinath) + an icecream as a afterthought takes up another 35 bucks.

Rekha puts an expression like "Do-I-even-know-you-before? Suddenly-you-seem-out-of-focus-and-blurred! Oops-let-me-drag-a-few-yards-and-stand-there-till-you-pay"

Srinath gets mighty irritated at the fact that he needs to foot the bill and there is not even a sign of effort from Rekha to share it! "It's-your-job-man" attitude?

Now lets cut back to the real story!

Our man had to go through this harrowing experience every time. Only that the girls kept changing. One fine day he decided, he will pay them back.

One such dinner was over and the girl as usual had a "I will switch off from the world till you pay the bill" posture. Our man walks up to her and hands over the bill. She is puzzled, rightfully because she has never seen a hotel bill ever since she is late teens!

Our man goes on says "You ate blah and I also ate blah. We are not hub and wifey nor are you my girl friend. We are just two friends who have come out for a dinner. Why is that I always spend every penny when we both go out and you never realize there is an eight letter word called courtesy?"

Silence...storm..cyclone...bill paid in full and cyclone crosses the sea, besant nagar beach and heads back in an auto.

Srinath enjoys the weather report at home (clear skies, no cyclone) while Rekha is down again with fever and Praveen is taking her out for dinner!


 

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