Saturday, January 20, 2007

Around the Gultland in two days

Recently I had been to Gultland a.k.a Hyderabad for a two day trip. The funniest part about hyderabad is its full of Gults. I think Gults have sweated enough over decades now to prove the caricatures that they sometimes are, that we should rest Sardars and crown Gults as India's official caricature targets.
Before we go into the details, I wish to state that am not Jade Goody or no way related to her. I am not racist. Gults are the next best thing to Hyderabadi Biryani. (Now that the disclaimer part is done, let me indulge on my Gultism-giri)
  1. 3 out of every 4 Gult men I saw had their mush tapered to 3/4th of their lips (a la comedian chandarababu or movie actors of 60's). Is it to say that they are incomplete and hence want us to forewarn about the consequences of trying to deal with them like rest of aam calm junta?
  2. Sample this: A macho Gult saying a sauve manglorean interviewer " I want to taste your taste!!!". I was sitting in Chutney - The Hotel. The next seat was were this bizzare incident happened. The interviewer was an american-returned manglorean with a tone that resembled "Am-the-interviewer-and-so-I-have-more-sperm-count-than-you". Our Gult macho was asked to order for food and our man utters these bizzare words " aarder saar. I want to tashte your tashte"..Interviewer's sperm count saw a dip and he was like "What??" (the hell...)
  3. If not yet convinced, sample this - an ERP practice head of a well-known IT company, telling its (Thank God!) Japanese customer " It can cater to the any kind of specific reports" (Again what the hell is any kind of specifc report?!?! Is specific report not a part of this "any" definition?
  4. Although you are conviced, you gotto sample this too - Improvements are happening, its not standalone (Oh! He meant "Improvements are happening and are not discontinued"
  5. The most funniest of all is when a Gult tries to speak with American accent - the "r" part is just fine. But when the tongue rolls a bit too much and "deliverable" becomes "drrrubwl" sorry..hahahaha
  6. Junior NTR - Oh Please! When will this guy stop playing that invisible veena and call it a dance step. We are tired of seeing his ponch sways! When I saw him sitting straight and keeping his mouth shut, on a must relieving that feeling was!!
  7. I went to Hussain sagar lake and the nearby food court. I ask one juice stall owner for the menu and am ordering Chocolate Shake and as an afterthought ask him if he serves Cold Coffee. Our man says " Saar, upstairs, straight, left, you will get cool coffee". Oh thanks! Then cancel my choco-shake. He was like...??? why did i say that?? (Becuase you are meant to !!!)

Are these not reasons enough for us to at least give Gults, the runner-up title for "Beloved Caricatures of India"?

Lage Raho Aapka comments!

(PS: Like there are exceptions everywhere, I have seen some out of the world smart gults, who can give the rest of india, a run for its money. But hey, I could still count them!)


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