Saturday, January 27, 2007

Rather a long egotrip

1. Were you named after anyone?
No, I was not in queue

2. Do you believe in stars?
Never! I always managed to be a back bencher

3. When did you last cry?
When i made onion sambhar

4. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. Its "Trebuchet 10 font with 1.5 line spacing"

5. What is your favourite meat?
Not exactly favorite. But I like when Antony Bourdain in "No Reservations" eats fried grasshoppers tearing one head at a time!

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
A 1960's adult movie which is hopelessly boring with some "banned" scenes like english women coming in sleeveless (not topless!)

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
Oh will be head over heels!

8.Are you a daredevil?
Yeah, i just missed being a bandit

9. How do you release anger?
Just the way you pee...Concentrate, Control till you can, Clear, Clean and Forget till it happens again

10. Where is your second home?
You mean chinna veedu?

11. Do you trust others easily?
Ena romba nallavannu oru varthai solitangale nu vadivelu mari aprom azharthuka?

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
No I was into better things like trying to defy gravity, attempting to dig a hole to reach antarctica and so on..Appove naa andha mari...

13.What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
They were all useful..I wasnt

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Ask my victims!

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Will you join me?

16.What do you look for in a gal?
Intelligence and quickwit. Clarity and urban-smarts. Above all no mush, good dresses and a liberal usage of deo

17. Would you bungee jump? long as it does not break my family's genetic realy race!

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
No I sleep with shoes (on my legs...not like what you read out of it)

19.what's your favourite ice cream?
Anything as long as its from a shared bowl on a quaint evening

20. What are your favourite colours?
Orange, Red, Yellow, Pink

21. What are your least favourite things?
Cleaning my bike n car. Wasting time with people just because its politically uncorrect to say them "F"

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
I am snobbish...but not in this case...There were a few, there are a few..But I am not in the game..Have taken a drinks break..

23. Who do you miss most right now?
Action. High. Adrenalin. Fever. Ecstacy. Groove. Pressure.

24. What are you listening to right now?
Chennai auto's drr-rrr-rrr-rrr

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

26. What is the weather like right now?
Sub zero plus a couple of tens (Chennai...Duh)

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
A Drug Lord

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Do they present themselves well..Its getting too technical out here..

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
As I am in a drinks break, I had to pull this out myself. If you ask me if i like myself...oh i am madly in love..

30. How are you today?
A wholesome tambram meal and cricket...actually worried about horizontal prosperity slowly trying to hijack my 32 waist.

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
Banana milkshake and Jilljill Jigarthanda

33. Natural hair colour?
Whose hair? Mine? Black and a few hidden whites

34. Eye colour? an Indian

35. Wear contacts?
No. My contacts dont like being carried like uppu mootai

36. Siblings?
Is it a game like couplings, jalabulajangs?

37. Favourite month?
December and whenever salary hike happens

38.Favourite food?
Potato curry

39. Favourite day of the year?
Next question please...its getting to be a tad bit longer a list than i imagined

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
No. I make sure they certainly want to and then ask...These days I beg to be not asked out...

41. Scary movies or happy endings?
Hypocracy...I have more choices.

42. Summer or winter?
I am not this complicated and choosy...Was this list prepared by a forward queen?

43. Holi or Diwali? Ada pongappa

44. Do you like your name?
No may be i would have prefered rettavaal rengudu

45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Fortune (osi le kedacha)...ilena anada vikatan, BW etc

46. What's on your mouse pad?
Balls! (I have two mice and each one has a roller ball, you pervert!)

47. What did you watch on TV last night?
Victoria's secret. I was confused...They dint hide anything...then where is the secret (Ulta perk mattera iruke idhu)

48. Favourite Smell?
Petrol and Ganja

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
No (apart from the ones that cannot be counted as break ups)

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
This is called clairvoyance...You got it...this is a madass list...ufff...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Bin Ladies

First, the conclusion: Chics should learn not just table manners, but also after-dinner manners!

Lets say Srinath and Rekha plan to go out for dinner...

SMS from Rekha: What you doing?

Srinath: Scratching my head (But you cant say the truth and hence) Just thinking of you!

Rekha: Dont lie. Achaa Suun..Lets go for dinner na?

Srinath: No I feel tired and moreover I am better off watching the weather report chic than come with you (Its rude to say and hence)...yeah sure, but where do we meet?

Rekha: Am not feeling well yaar. Am running cold (yuck) and bloody sneezing from morning (how disgusting to say this). Can you come and pick me up from home?

Srinath: No, am not your driver or doctor. If you are really sick why dont you dial 1066 for an ambulance (Its not kind of us to say this and hence) oops did you see the doctor? Did you take medicines?

Rekha: No, its ok (and then why the hell rekha was whining a seconds ago?).

Srinath: Ok be at home. I will pick you up (after stuffing my wallet to feed your bottomless tummy)

Rekha: No No...Gar pe aunty hai (Aunty who cleans her house). I will come to the street end (You mean after locking the aunt in the house?) (Come on, if you dont trust us, why the you call me all the way there for picking you up?)

Srinath arrives, wading through traffic, autorickshaw threats and signals..

Rekha: So nice of you to have come. You look tired. You should have told me na?(Like what...Bitch I know you are hungry and no one is there to feed you today and neither am i in a mood to fund you?)

As Rekha takes him through the minutest details of her flu and cold with punctating sneezes, they reach Khana Kazana...

Srinath tries to make her take the lead. But Rekha is stubbonly rooted to the platform. Srinath is familiar with this and has no choice but to ask her what she wants..

Dho aloo paratha, ek subzi aur curd (whatever happened to the flu)

Srinath puts up with the boring story of rekha univ admits and pathetic GMAT score for 28th time. He knows beyond doubt that she is dumb, the universities also know it and Rekha still doesnt!

Now comes the moment of truth!

The bill has arrived! 120 bucks (90 on rekha and 30 on srinath) + an icecream as a afterthought takes up another 35 bucks.

Rekha puts an expression like "Do-I-even-know-you-before? Suddenly-you-seem-out-of-focus-and-blurred! Oops-let-me-drag-a-few-yards-and-stand-there-till-you-pay"

Srinath gets mighty irritated at the fact that he needs to foot the bill and there is not even a sign of effort from Rekha to share it! "It's-your-job-man" attitude?

Now lets cut back to the real story!

Our man had to go through this harrowing experience every time. Only that the girls kept changing. One fine day he decided, he will pay them back.

One such dinner was over and the girl as usual had a "I will switch off from the world till you pay the bill" posture. Our man walks up to her and hands over the bill. She is puzzled, rightfully because she has never seen a hotel bill ever since she is late teens!

Our man goes on says "You ate blah and I also ate blah. We are not hub and wifey nor are you my girl friend. We are just two friends who have come out for a dinner. Why is that I always spend every penny when we both go out and you never realize there is an eight letter word called courtesy?"

Silence...storm..cyclone...bill paid in full and cyclone crosses the sea, besant nagar beach and heads back in an auto.

Srinath enjoys the weather report at home (clear skies, no cyclone) while Rekha is down again with fever and Praveen is taking her out for dinner!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

What the hell Google?


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