Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Bin Ladies

First, the conclusion: Chics should learn not just table manners, but also after-dinner manners!

Lets say Srinath and Rekha plan to go out for dinner...

SMS from Rekha: What you doing?

Srinath: Scratching my head (But you cant say the truth and hence) Just thinking of you!

Rekha: Dont lie. Achaa Suun..Lets go for dinner na?

Srinath: No I feel tired and moreover I am better off watching the weather report chic than come with you (Its rude to say and hence)...yeah sure, but where do we meet?

Rekha: Am not feeling well yaar. Am running cold (yuck) and bloody sneezing from morning (how disgusting to say this). Can you come and pick me up from home?

Srinath: No, am not your driver or doctor. If you are really sick why dont you dial 1066 for an ambulance (Its not kind of us to say this and hence) oops did you see the doctor? Did you take medicines?

Rekha: No, its ok (and then why the hell rekha was whining a seconds ago?).

Srinath: Ok be at home. I will pick you up (after stuffing my wallet to feed your bottomless tummy)

Rekha: No No...Gar pe aunty hai (Aunty who cleans her house). I will come to the street end (You mean after locking the aunt in the house?) (Come on, if you dont trust us, why the ...do you call me all the way there for picking you up?)

Srinath arrives, wading through traffic, autorickshaw threats and signals..

Rekha: So nice of you to have come. You look tired. You should have told me na?(Like what...Bitch I know you are hungry and no one is there to feed you today and neither am i in a mood to fund you?)

As Rekha takes him through the minutest details of her flu and cold with punctating sneezes, they reach Khana Kazana...

Srinath tries to make her take the lead. But Rekha is stubbonly rooted to the platform. Srinath is familiar with this and has no choice but to ask her what she wants..

Dho aloo paratha, ek subzi aur curd (whatever happened to the flu)

Srinath puts up with the boring story of rekha univ admits and pathetic GMAT score for 28th time. He knows beyond doubt that she is dumb, the universities also know it and Rekha still doesnt!

Now comes the moment of truth!

The bill has arrived! 120 bucks (90 on rekha and 30 on srinath) + an icecream as a afterthought takes up another 35 bucks.

Rekha puts an expression like "Do-I-even-know-you-before? Suddenly-you-seem-out-of-focus-and-blurred! Oops-let-me-drag-a-few-yards-and-stand-there-till-you-pay"

Srinath gets mighty irritated at the fact that he needs to foot the bill and there is not even a sign of effort from Rekha to share it! "It's-your-job-man" attitude?

Now lets cut back to the real story!

Our man had to go through this harrowing experience every time. Only that the girls kept changing. One fine day he decided, he will pay them back.

One such dinner was over and the girl as usual had a "I will switch off from the world till you pay the bill" posture. Our man walks up to her and hands over the bill. She is puzzled, rightfully because she has never seen a hotel bill ever since she is late teens!

Our man goes on says "You ate blah and I also ate blah. We are not hub and wifey nor are you my girl friend. We are just two friends who have come out for a dinner. Why is that I always spend every penny when we both go out and you never realize there is an eight letter word called courtesy?"

Silence...storm..cyclone...bill paid in full and cyclone crosses the sea, besant nagar beach and heads back in an auto.

Srinath enjoys the weather report at home (clear skies, no cyclone) while Rekha is down again with fever and Praveen is taking her out for dinner!

1 of my fans were here!:

Bhargavi on 8:01 AM said...

he he... "Bill Ladies" would have been a better name for this post ;)...

Boss.. A generalized statement chic is not truzzz :)

Is the Srinath in the post you ?? :P

Not even one gal has ever treated you??? :O


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