Saturday, August 02, 2008

I am awful

When you are in sales and that too with fellow men in the street, you should know how to walk the walk (I know this is the best damp squib of an introduction to a blog post and can be beaten only by Miss Universe titleholders' final round answers)
The point is, you should be able to and willing to do what fellow sales men are good at:
1. Lying (Not laying) - I do that well! (I show video conferences with my european collegues and insist my clients to believe that they are talking to Henry Ford's aavi in the other end. I even make them believe its possible to make a fuel efficient vehicle with an inverted "V" engine. Place it on the torso and its nataraja service..)
2. I can act busy - I can stare at an excel sheet for hours together with arbitrarily placed numbers and make it look like I am solving the mystery of black holes in the universe. I can postpone lunch and enter the cafeteria when others leave.
3. I can cut-replace "We"/"He" with "I" - I will listen to my boss and his boss and their ideas and disseminate it to collegues with a prefix "I Think"...and sound like "Jack Welch" in the making
But things that I dont get yet are Golf, Drinks and food.
There are a few embarassing moments I may have to go through very soon..
Will my carrom board skills be useful in golf? Are the rules same or slightly different?
Can I wear canvas shoes to a golf course?
Should I buy golf kuchi (golf club) or will they give.
Who is the winner? One who hits the ball to a sixer or one who pockets the coin..ahh..ball ?
When others order Hugarden and other such drinks, should I risk asking for pineapple juice? Or when they raise a toast, should I toast with my glass of water?
Should I eat salads that are generally for cows back at my village?
Is it okay to order french onion soup after asking if they use beef stock or should I skip soups?
If its main course, should I always go for a Polish or french sounding dish with obscene amount of cheese or can I ask for pizza with no mozzerella cheese?

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