Saturday, May 08, 2010

10 Reasons to not work in IT sweatshops

The IT job of today is like what the bank was for the graduating batch of 1960's. Everyone and his mother would get a job and they lived happily ever after. The only difference is in today's days (is that right english?), they live happily ever after an appraisal or a job change, whichever comes first.
There are some blindingly obvious reasons why you shouldn't be in these lack of applied innovation, low per capita smartness per sq.ft. etc. Lets leave those to the startup companies' career page comparison tabular column. There are other and equally important reasons though.
1. You've got to carry an ID card, a car pass, a laptop pass everyday. Three biomechanical robots would check them while one could have done the job. If you are an outcast (who is not an employee of the company that he/she works out of), the process doesnt recognize you and hence the biomechanical robots wont too! So till some "Head of something" carrying a templatized approved business card that reads totally title to his/her actual job writes an email (at 10 30 am) to "Head of security" you wont get in.
2. The quality of marble in the ground floor and top floor (fat cats floor) are better those you would find in the finest italian monuments. But let that not fool you. The ones in your floor are only slightly better than the anti-skid tiles in my 2 bed home. Is that a problem? No. Its just very wal-mart/McD-ish philosophy of saying "Anything that the customer wont see is not worth investing in"
3. The lifts wont have a/c. With people hopping on like its an irresistible disney ride and packing it enough to rub some hugo boss perfume off your body and onto theirs, you need a/c.
4. Lets compare. Google - Innovation is the line that separated the organic searches on the left from the paid ads on the right. Indian IT company - Innovation is the underground car park that is also used as the mass canteen for 3000 people to eat in a span of 1.30 hours. Cattle class, any body?
5. The water dispensers have the hot and cold taps, only if the board decides to ratify the usage of electricity for such menial purposes. The green aspect that needs to be appreciated though, is the eversilver tumblers that are used by all and sundry without the washes in between. Take water bottles. Dont take if you are a veep.Veeps get office water bottles as they have thirst. Others dont.
6. A funky card reader that shall have to be pleased before you get a one-fourth cup of a coffee could well have been used as a universal scanner for car, id and laptop entries.Being an outcast I dont get my coffee before a reluctant and yet benevolent coffee maker decides to feed my carving for a coffee. If everyone who gets in is authorized, why not just do away with the bums (bevarage user management system!!)
7. You can have any color print out as long as its black in color. Oh well, shades of grey are okay too. You have no right to print out if you are an outcast
8. Visitors and guests are those that need to be met with at the nearby cigarrete shops. A visitor with no official purpose is as bad as an epidemic outbreak and is treated as one such.
9. No one reaches office beter 10 00 Am and no one leaves before 8 00 pm.
Disclaimer: My company and my offshore office are good. This post is really about the rest.
PS: If you notice that the 10th point is missing and hence the title is not quite right, you still have some ability to question. Thou shalt not work in Indian IT company.

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