Alternate Professions for Team India

With such a scintillating performance against Bangladesh, Team India might well not return to India. Even if they manage to do so, through the underground gas pipeline through Iran, they might still not find their jobs as cricketers. We thought we would provide them rehabilitation advices and who knows, some of them might even consider these seriously!

Sachin Tendulkar - He is the most versatile (er?) player. In the mornings he can lift the MRF tire and keeping rotating like the MRF Man and in the evenings he can charge himself with tiger biscuits. In between he can try an audition for Mowgli of Jungle Book.

Virendra Sehwag - Oh he already has a full-time job ready. The number of andae he has laid, it would take time for him to collect them all.

Rahul Dravid - When the team comes back to India, he can stand in front of the mob and utter absolutely believable statements like "Boys tried their best". Even if someone throws an empty pepsi bottle, it wont hurt much. After all, he's the wall!

Dhoni - They are searching for a new kid for our "aarogya naalarai paal" and Dhoni has no other job anyway.He can also launch his own hair saloon and upsell mysor sandol there.

Yuvraj Singh - He is such a marvellous fielder and has enthralled us wih his dives. The dolphin show in ECR has not been doing well at all and we will literally jump a this job!

Agarkar - He just lacks consistency and line. We would recommend him to work with PWD or Telephones department. His lack of skill suits here very well. He can start the trench anywhere and end it anywhere. We will figure out how to drive, inspite of all this.

Harbhajan Singh - We suggest he opens a restaurant next to Cozee in besant nagar and sells 'Doosra'..err..."Dosa"

Sreesanth - We heard this dude sings well. Being a mellu and hinduu, our dude has a bright future with Ayyappa devotional songs.

Ganguly - Our man has a way with stripping. So how about a pole dancer in a strip club?

Zaheer Khan and Munaf Patel - Oh opening bowlers? Know swing? Fast? I think I will retire my car and these two can carry me through the traffic. Fast and easy to manuveur.

Mandira Bedi - She can make noodles from her noodle strap blouses!!