Monday, April 02, 2007

Girl Dekho

If you are 20-something and have reasonably arrived in life, murphy's law starts working in its worst way expected. This is when GD happens.There are some tell-tale signs when this dubious underground activity called "Girl Dekho" is getting planned.

  1. Your mom suddenly tells she is getting old and not as active as she used to be. (Notwithstanding her new craze for designer cut shoes which she picks up one pair each, every month when she visits you)
  2. You are suddenly invited to all marriages and for some unknown reason your face is framed in the close circuit tv in the marriage hall (Though you would have innocently been thinking that you are naturally beuatiful and hence..)
  3. Your not-so-favorite relatives will suddenly be interested in knowing about your job (Though after 1/2 hour of telling them you are into sales in a software company, they will still say "Payyan software le vela pakran")
  4. Your dad who till now took a who-are-you stance at you, will start pestering you to buy a house
  5. Your america (went for daughter's maternity) returned aunty will ask your height and photo (Next thing you know, your profile will be in bharatmatrimony.com)

So how to avoid "Girl Dekho"?

  1. When you mom says she is getting old, give her a "oh-is-that-not-the-case-for-the-last 10 years" look. Never entertain a discussion.Never get sentimental. Its a ploy!
  2. Never go to weddings. Even if you have to go bearded and if possible with mouth-ful of manikchand gutka. If you are a girl wear a very revealing ghagra choli and give a hug to the food contractor telling his sambhar was good!
  3. When someone aunty asks for your photo, send the one where your hands are strategically placed around a not-so-conservative girl/guy. More the smoke in the frame, the better it is.
  4. If inspite of all your efforts, some prospective oversmart dad-of a guy/girl comes to you and asks about your hobbies, just say - premarital sex!

If you are dumb and wonder why it is such a bad idea, sample a few here!

  1. You may never get to do the "Girl Dekho" straight. If the girl has a bro, you may end up doing a "bro dekho", just so that he can assess how much of a hannibal you are before his thangachee can meet you.
  2. If you are those unlucky types, "bro dekho" will be preceded/succedded by "Parivar Dekho". The girl's mom, mom's dog, dad, dad's uncle, his snuff box, snuff, grand father with overgrown nose hair, uncle with baggy and reebok shoes will all want to meet you.
  3. You will have to shave in the middle of the work week
  4. You might even be suggested to get a manicure/pedicure/facial done
  5. You would have to get locked up in a room with a girl/guy who does not know what to say and where to start. When you finally initiate a conversation, her sister will door deliver "kesari" and "mundiri paruppu". However better it is to eat them, than to talk to the dork on the otherside of the cot, you somehow would feel that reverse metabolism is happening and your mouth feels like ass. It's a queasy feeling to get into a claustrophobia-meets-xenophobia situation.
  6. You might have to encounter silly salutations like "maplai saar" which you never craved to earn ever!
  7. You would be expected to smile at a kid and say "cute", which you would have held upside down on your balcony, for a brat it is.

So "GIrl Dekho" is all about being out of yourself, playing to the audience and often requiring to suond absolutely in control and perfectly logical person when saying "Hi, oh you are shanthi".."Nice meeting you...Chal let's get married"


11 of my fans were here!:

Nysarga said...

Hahaha-Very Nice!!!

Sriram said...

Common pal, its not like before. Having registered in Bharat matrimony or any other portal for that matter, the 'girl dekho' is almost scrapped I should say! You will already have a basal idea about the girl whom you are to meet. Its your choice to meet the one who is close to your expectations!!! Anyways, good luck

Kris on 5:58 AM said...

what sriram say is true. It took me jus 3 months to find a bride through the site

what is the truth said...

but do they really as big as they claim? i am not sure

Ashwin said...

Your's truely is married (through Bharatmatrimony) now.

Thanks for dropping by...How did you come to know of my blog?

kris said...

I read in newspaper that Bharatmatrimony has been renamed as Consiminfo and they are planning for IPO sometime later, so I put some keywords in google to know more about the IPO and other details and by chance came across your blog

ya said...

guess there is a truth in the statement that bharatmatrimony has created more success stories. yet it is a close competion among the 3players for the top spot - bharatmatrimony, shaadi and jeevansathi

Sriram on 7:13 PM said...

hilarious! :D

sila pala points-a ive noted. future-ku use aagum. lol.

Sriram on 5:37 AM said...

*nervous smile*

Vignesh on 6:32 AM said...

Hello,
This is a pretty old post, eh. I was browsing through http://www.chutneycase.com and happened to notice your comment on one of the articles there.

This piece was a nice read. Out of your own life? Also, how far down the line did you actually get into the role of a 'Maplai'?

Ashwin on 8:00 PM said...

@Vignesh

Thanks for stopping by!

Yes..out of my life...same blood. How far down the line?? I think the moment I stopped wetting the bed, my mom decided its time for me to get married..I defied the pressure for a while and it happened at 27!

 

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