Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Business Are There

Like they used to say "Food are there" in our insti canteen, when they host the "hostel garden maintenance" meetings to generate attendance, I need to resort to such titles for my blog, to attract readers. Besides that, this blog is about the business that are there. With the three mandatory lines needed to shed my corporate style writing are over..lemme get to the point

Particularly since I am a married man for 2 years now and having always had my way with women ( or so I love to believe), here are some advices to women I know or will know, on what they could do with their time in hand and the skills that seem to magically possess them!

Ivvidam sagaya vilayil kaadhal tips sollap padum (Loosely traslates to "Love tips are there" for nominal charges):

Women when they get married suddenly seem possessed with an innate ability to understand the psyche of love and what exact direction it will take and how the involved parties should tackle it. Marriage and a new husband gives them an outworldly knowledge & insight into a man's mental or urinal urges. Underarm'ed with that, in a GRT bag, they actually start dishing out (half) baked love advices to everyone who needs it or who finds it too offensive to refuse it.

Ivvidam malivu vilayil GRT ilavasa item attavanai seidhu tharappadam (L.t.t "GRT freebies time table are there)
Circa 1985..With about 7 places to pierce and 9 places to encircle, women manifested themselves to be an ever expanding geography for gold and GRT did capitalize on it. For the men, it said, you get a sootcase free with the belly button ring you buy for your gilma. Before marriage, the gilma meant a lot to men and they did fall defenselessly to the GRT branded sootcase and that value for mani was enough for him to keep the guilt factor aside. GRT has since then has changed tack and now offers salt peradha gifts like waal karandi and cycle balrus, which women seem to have a fascination for (the latter being a fad among women who pierce their lipsuku keezha and thinga vittufy the balrus there). Now the ex-gilma and now amma, knows exactly when to close a GRT cheetu and what free gift to buy with the nagai. I recommend them to offer this to the north indian kundhunani and motwani women they encounter in sowcarpet (who seem to have not taken to GRT yet)

Ingu kuraindha vilayil screw ethi tharap padum (Please dont take the literal meaning here..L.t.t we sell whining services for cheap)
I have noticed that when two women meet they have something to whine about their husband and when three of them meet they have something tell about men and when four meet, they have soemthing to tell about the world minus 4 and this goes on. Thats usual. There are some women who excel in finding a way to whine and they should market this skill. You can identify such women through this conversation:

Seetha: Hey my husband bought me this ring from Dubai!
Peetha: Huh, so he never stays at home aa? He didint take you also aa?

Seetha: Hey we went for a vacation to Dubai and bought this ring!
Peetha: Oh..You went all the way and he bought you only ringa?

Seetha: Hey we went to shopping festival and spent our entire savings. he bought me countless clothes
Peetha: Oh you husband is lavisha? Better be careful. Hope he does not work with satyam

Seetha: Hey we bought a lot of things and we have million shares of google also. My husband is superboy.
Peetha: O. Good. But be careful. If he is that superboy, you keep an eye..better late than never na..

Before I get impounded for my advices, I shall take a pause to observe how the clan warms up to these ideas and if I do see a roaring reception..I shall offer more such ideas..

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