Saturday, June 02, 2007

Tips for marriage

Men! Like me, one day, you will also decide to get married. Ok I am making it sound as though I was in control with the decision. I wasn't. So...
Men ! One day you will hear that you are getting married and a meeting with the girl will be organized. When it happens, between then and engagement there are some do's, dont's, have's and have nots.
  1. You call her first, even if its STD and you are in pre-paid. I am not trying to make you sound courteous. I know we men abhor pretence. The idea of you making a call is, you will always feel the heat to cut the call before charge runs out. Less face time with women!
  2. Always suggest places for the first meeting. Dont let her decide. No its not about chivalry. You know where your ex- girl friends dont come. Its better to avoid the unwanted, embarassing hugs from ex-sunitha, ex-priya!
  3. Always make her sit first and offer to set up the chair for her. After all this way you can get the entire view of the place, if in case, this discussion gets boring
  4. Order what she likes and not what you that you can concentrate on better things when she is at her favorite ice cream
  5. Pay the bills. Its both courtesy and also empirical evidence that women dont carry purse when men are around. Your prospect will be no different!
  6. Dont kiss her.She would have come with lot of revlon base on her cheeks. You dont want allergy, do you? Same applies for smooch. But always say you show restraint becuase you are a decent man!
  7. Buy her a lot of perfume. She may think you love her loads. I know, it might be true and also what's untold is that even in love we dont tolerate the smell of rotten onions.
  8. Talk tall about her family lineage. Even if its hopless wife-beating, husband-cheating family, you are going to be a part of it. So its wise to say good things and console yourself in private that self depriciating jokes are good stress busters.
  9. Never lie. I know it contradicts all the above tips. If its not possible, tell your lies with straight face. It makes sense for the future. Imagine you come home after an onsite trip where tried some caucasian experiments after dark and your wife asks about your nights there without her. You can say "Oh I was listening to Newyork Nagaram Urangum Neram" song in ipod. She will be in your arms already. Well after the caucasian experiment, this falling in arms of a fat Indian wife may not excite you. But hey, this is what you asked for when you decided to get marry!

Disclaimer: If you cant religiously do all of these, there is a simple tip. Starting loving your fiancee! Everything else falls in place without you working for it.

Did I hear the word "balancing act?", anybody?

8 of my fans were here!:

Anonymous said...

nice one.. did al this really happen wit u? i pity ur wifey!
n more is yet to come... me waiting....

Ashwin on 8:58 AM said...

@ anonymous:

My wifey is a gem!!!


Anonymous said...

o really? she is a gem n al.. yo post doesnt seem like tht man..... but one thing is for sure.... ur wife is lucky!

Tormentor :) said...

ahem ahem!!
i hope the ahem's have given the msg!!need i say more!!:P
@future wife
u still have time..4 months to go!!find a better guy!!;)

Tormentor :D said...

ahem ahem!!
i hope the ahem's have given the msg!! need i say more??:P
@future wife
u still have time. 4 months to go. find a better guy!!;)

Unjun on 1:44 PM said...

hey long time! how've u been?

i'm back in action, i've started an offshoot of my first blog... hope to see you around.


Naarayan on 4:25 PM said...

ada paavi..yen kitta tips vaangi un kathai maatri solraya..ithu koncham over da

Ashwin on 10:18 AM said...

@ Rock

Naaye Naaye...idhu enoda sondha kadhai...nanga copy adika matomle..veetla kooda tea than.


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