Saturday, April 23, 2011

Chennai - An attempt @ mocking the psyche of a paid humor column writer of Chennai english dailies!

The modern day life in Chennai, is fascinating in various levels.

If you read this post from Chennai, there is a chance that you would have to wait for a couple of hours, in-spite of being generally savvy with RSS Readers. There is hardly anything that you could do about scheduled power cuts. You could beat the heat with inverters, but only if you own the house. Sweat-equity is an intangible part of the rental contracts in the city. You may choose to use the Chinese Kosu/Mosquito bats that serve the triple purposes of improving your strokes, killing the vector and making the air flow.

While at it, prepare to wear silk saree for the evening reception, which for some mysterious reason, happens a day before the wedding. In relationships, we trust. After all its just one day and nothing can go wrong. If it has to there is rest of the life to work towards it. It seems like a trend (ing topic?) to find who sticks along for how long.

Ridiculously priced brahmin vegetarian mass-cooked unbalanced diet, with hodgepodge of unrelated north, west and western accouterments make your evening social outing, worth the sweat & swelter , only if the world of warcraft inspired over-mature 7 year old kid whose name could mostly start with an "A", as it was the fashion in early 2000's had not elbowed you to the running payasam on the leaf.

That the dry cleaners in the city have no pricing that's in local currency and no service that makes sense for the dollar pricing, could only have made your life in the city miserable. But then, you could always walk to the next door arun ice-cream which still prices ice-cream by weight. After all not all is lost, till you see the the weight loss banners that have added to the gross-weight of the city, that the axis may tilt.

The corporation or its contractors may not clean the dump or the banners, but that certainly keeps the dogs centered around the dump, so that you could walk safe into your house. The increasing case of rabies related death in the city, has only to do with the animal welfare board which is keen on family planning (which is quite preventive, I must agree) , misses the point by a gaping gap of a generation. Should we have to wait for a generation of dogs, well fed on community waste, to die their natural deaths, to stem the rabies? Or perhaps, should we welcome an equally unruly auto-stand to the street, to keep the food chain take care of itself?

But what promise they hold, to run over the dogs, if every auto has sworn to keep a real-looking puppy sticker on their back, to show their affinity to not just dogs but to the soaring urge to display cheap wizardry with cliched social memes. Lesser said the better, about these puppies popping out of call-taxi and auto backsides.

Only an evil can kill another evil, proves the new solar powered two-leaved plant that sways inside the car, in all its florescent green, much to the contentment of the car owner who beams in his casual brilliance of spotting a trend and promoting a cool-meme that merges with uber-cool alternate energy trend.

Loathing of expensive & uncouth mass transport options, we must admit that we in chennai are only so inclined to things literary, for we are reminded to advance our poetic skills, by those one liners in these autos. They write because they could. Aren't they just a lowly public manifestation of the uninspiring tweets and retweets Chennai has taken upon themselves with vigor? The odd #kogul & #shitkirubasays apart, what have we contributed even there?

But then, the power cut is fascinating in its ability to nip the tweets when they chirp!

1 of my fans were here!:

Sriram on 6:10 AM said...

LOL. Hilarious, as usual. Evlo dhaan koraigal irundhaalum, kaaikai'ki than kunju pon kunju illaiya? Metraas pola varumaa! :D


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